Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
