i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
