TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
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The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
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I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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