The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
