Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
