I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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