I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
