You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
