I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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