i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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