He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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