The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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