I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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