Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize