I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
