Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
