I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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