shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize