escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
