Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
