party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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