If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
