No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
