I accidentally had phone sex last night
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
