even my farts smell like vagina
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
