you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
