Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
you never un-have a 4some
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