I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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