I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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