At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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