Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
