no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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