If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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