So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea