Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night