I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.