I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?