you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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