hotel room ftw
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
