just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
