Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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