Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
