I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
