she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
