I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize