im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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