I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
