Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
