My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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