: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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