Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The feeling are messing with the penis
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
you made out with another girl for some wings
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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