You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
