I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
