Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
