Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
