return my video game
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
