I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
