the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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