you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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