I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
