Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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