i think my tv is drunk
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
do nipples grow back?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
