thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
