You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
