you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
