She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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