this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
