I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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