wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
