Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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